One of my many habits that have translated well from home to work is my ability to constantly snack and drink whenever sedentary. It doesn't help that I'm blessed with an endless free cornucopia of tasty things, so you can imagine myself endlessly downing soda after tea after juice after coffee after...
Anyways, it's easy for me to go through at least 3-4 drinks before lunch, and if you know me at all it means that this also leads to many trips to restroom. I probably use the toilet more often than most. Last time I think my doctor diagnosed that I have a bladder the size of a pea right before I excused myself to piss.
"Randy, why am I reading this. You're an idiot." Now before you leave, allow me to explain my freaky coincidental pee-schedule. It's probably the timing of my liquid ingestion, but I don't plan this at all. You see our floor janitors are all working on schedule too, and funny enough my urge to urinate seems to coincide with their cleaning schedule like, 100% of the time.
I just switched floors in our building, and I noted that every time I use the restroom I happen to run into the same, 200lbs janitor who always cleans the mens room. And I know he notices too because when we see each other in our daily encounters he always smiles and gives a hearty "Good morning!" to me. The other day I happened to be dropping my kids off in the stall when I heard the familiar sound of a cleaning cart rolling in. I dwelled in there a while thinking how weird it was that he's always there when I was, and I heard other dudes use the room without ever so much a "Hello" from my friendly janitor. Of course when I walked out of the stall he was there sweeping all over and gave me his standard "Good Morning!" routine. How come only me?
Because he sees me ALL THE TIME. I'm like his new best friend or something cause of this daily routine we have together. We have this new weird bond in which we're casually dating now that everytime I need to leak, he needs to change the toilet paper. What's even weirder is that I
still run into him when we're not in the bathroom together because our janitors are entitled to the same perks we are. Meaning I see him at lunch in the cafes, in the kitchen to cook a snack, on my way to meetings, and even one day we happened to be leaving work at the same time and our cars were parked nearby. I don't know whether I should be scared or sign him up to be my big brother.
It's now confirmed that there is absolutely nothing on Earth that Sanrio Co. won't embellish with their hellishly cute kitten. Is nothing sacred anymore? Can a woman not walk down the douche-aisle of her local pharmacy and be greeted by this androgynous feline? I'm really speechless and have nothing more to say.
Translated from the website I found this on: “A small syringe with detachable nozzles; used for vaginal lavage and enemas.”
