It occurred to me this afternoon that there are way too many people on campus. Lunch is a total riot of ravenous hungry vultures, parking at around 10am means you'll be arriving at your desk 11, and then don't forget the free tshirts...god.
So today work was giving away tshirts to commemorate G.Earth. First off, I haven't been to a Friday meeting in a WHILE (when I say 'while,' I mean somewhere around 90 days) but I wasn't surprised to see it chock-full of G.Bodies - I mean, it's free tshirt day, and I think the best phrase that describes us is 'cheapass freeloaders...'
So the demo was nice, 1/2 the people weren't remotely paying attention as happy thoughts of free textile-wear contagiously roamed the open space. I started to think: do I really need a 62nd shirt emblazoned with our company name? Does that guy next to me realize there's a piece of prosciutto stuck in his teeth? Did I forget to set my parking brake in the garage, again? I was brimming with rhetorical questions.
Meeting over! And like Devon revealing to Michael the revamped KITT 2.0 the cafeteria/garage doors were slowly drawn open and the hungry masses forced their way towards the light. It was fast, they were strong, some coworkers were trampled, and by the time I wrestled away a shirt and walked outdoors 17 employees had been seriously trampled and 6 were left for dead. I managed to limp away with a few brusies and at least 2 bite marks to my forearm, one from a co-worker whom I thought was my friend.
Aside from the bloodstains it received on its way out, the shirt is OK. I kinda think the quality of the shirts we've recently designed have been decreasing and are now simply being made by our high school interns on Microsoft Paint. Next time, I'll have a loyal co-worker try to get a shirt for me.
