Things haven't been quite the same since Midnite died. And I was feelin pretty bummed at one point, though this was months ago. Anyways, so we still have approximately 1.3 metric tons of dry cat food left since he passed, and it just sits there in our garage.
So lately, I've been feeding one of our neighbor's cats with our leftovers. She seems to like it, and I've named her Slutty Cat.
Why? Well first off, she gets around. Seriously, our neighbor says she's less than 8 years, but she's had 4 litters of kittens, and 2 litters were within the span of a year or so. So yes, she is a slut.
She has the ugliest caterwaul which I'm guessing, somehow attracts the throngs of male cats to ravage her. And she never stops! She's constantly in heat. You slut!
Anyways, she's using me now. I totally see how she works it. Here's the routine:
1.) I come home from work and park on the driveway
2.) She trots over to the driverside of my car while I get out. She begins to *meow*
2a.) Translated she's actually saying "It's about time you got home bitch, now feed my skank ass with some kibbles!"
3.) I give her some food
4.) She eats the food like it's her last day on earth
5.) I try to give her some sort of affectionate petting
6.) She recoils
7.) I leave, feeling dejected and used
8.) Finishing her snack, she smokes a cigarette
9.) I cry myself to sleep
Slutty Cat, why do you haunt me?!? Leave a nice guy alone...
